Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
