Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
