She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
