I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You can't motorboat a personality
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
