you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
