i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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