question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize