If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
