At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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