She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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