I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
