you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
