"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
