a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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