i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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