How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
my sisters under your porch take her home
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
not ubering you a puppy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
