After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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