Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
