he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
