I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize