Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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