I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
