He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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