she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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