I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Operation Purity has been aborted
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
