We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
