If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
home. puking in laundry basket.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
