My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
