I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
True strength comes from lack of pants
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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