why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
