I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
