Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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