420 ftw
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i now understand why vodka
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
