There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
