so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
