she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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