end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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