it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
