I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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