im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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