And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
