a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize