So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize