Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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