we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
