If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
