I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize