I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
