Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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