hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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