I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
