His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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