I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
