Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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