I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
