you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize