haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
