he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
