we made out on top of his cat.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
