I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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