Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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