I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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