I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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