I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize