Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
