I smell stomach acid.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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