margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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