Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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