Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
