If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
