What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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