My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
