He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
