More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize