Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
