Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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