none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
