hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
