Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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